I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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