wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
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