I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
