I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
