Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
