He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
