YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you traded sex for a burrito?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
