I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
