You're completely useless in the revolution.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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