And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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