you guys were way drunker than both of me
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
