"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I skipped work to stalk him.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
