I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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