Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I love you. Go after that dick
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
