So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
