So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
