Dual....:-)
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
