YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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