glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
