dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
