The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
