Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
