thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
