I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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