Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
