Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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