if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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