VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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