we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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