tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
