why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
