So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
