so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize