The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize