I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I think your dad took our porno
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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