The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
