So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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