After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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