I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
