well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
