I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
