Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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