Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Randomize
