he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
