just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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