SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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