So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
