I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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