you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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