you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
