You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
