yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
