I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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