do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
