I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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