i barfeds in our rink
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
