Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
