Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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