yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
just tell him i said nine months
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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