dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
