love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
