I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
