you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
